May Our Healing Be What Spreads.
Asset credits (Adobe Stock): “Abstract daisy flowers poster in groovy trippy funky style…” By Veronica; “Women’s day line art style vector illustration…” By sense; “Vector outline black and white illustration of a female body in a swimsuit…” By Yurii; “Woman head with flowers composition…” By Victoria; Designed by me, LeAnn D. Jenkins
This past November, I wrote in my journal:
May my wounds heal. And may my healing be what spreads and not the wound.
Immediately after I thought, “I'm tired of healing.” And I wondered why that is.
Healing is a natural process that is part of the body. So many wounds heal without conscious effort. Most everyday wounds heal without me doing much beyond nourishing my body. I might clean it out, cover it or ease the pain and then wait. Deeper wounds require more intensive repair and more frequent cleaning and soothing, but even then, I am supporting what is a natural process built into who I am. Those type of wounds are less frequent and do require deeper work, but hopefully only for a season.
Then, there are times when I work against my healing, reopening the wound, or not checking in to see its process and apply needed treatment. I may go on about my life like the wound is not in a state that requires my attention. I may get back to my normal pace of living too quick. I may pick at my wounds as a habit or indulgence, making them bigger in my impatience or compulsion.
But healing is a constant thing the body tries to do as its natural function, we don't make it happen, we support it.
I think my tiredness is an indication that I’ve been playing an unhelpful role in my healing, trying to “fix myself” instead of trusting and supporting the awareness, the resources, and the timing of my body and spirit.
When I find myself tired of healing, I want it to serve as a call to invite myself back to a nourishing and supportive. I want to ask myself:
Do you need anything? What do you need? Do you want anything? What do you want? What would serve you well?
Responding to my needs and wants isn’t always easy either, but it feels like much less of a burden and more honoring of myself, then trying to do the “fixing”. So, this is a prayer for me and you:
As we seek nourishment and support, may our wounds heal. And may our healing be what spreads and not the wound.
Quick Links to Support Resources
From Me
Resources (Reflection Tools and Group Guides): https://www.leanndjenkins.com/resources
Services (Spiritual Direction, Spiritual Care Supervision, Birth Chart Readings): https://www.leanndjenkins.com/schedule
From Partners
Learning and Care Cohorts, Spiritual Direction School, & Retreats: https://www.liberatedtogether.com/
Free Spiritual Direction for Women of Color: https://www.soulreparations.org/
